CAN I TALK TO YOU, NOT JUST NOW BUT FOREVER?

I have a friend by the name of Mbalenhle Mkhize, who has been my friend since the age of 5.  We went to pre-school together at Sea View Primary School and is still my close friend till this day.  Yes,we might not communicate on a daily and our lives have changed throughout the years which i feel contributes to the way we interact now rather than back in the day.

We have had our fair share of fun and difficult times together and i have loved every single moment of it.  The days when we still use to climb up trees to get a few mangoes lol, then the growing up stages where a person starts developing feelings for boys and gets over the "playing soccer in the park" days.

We have had our share of not communicating at all, then we'd start talking again and things go back to normal.  If there is one friend that i would love to have around me for the rest of my life it is her.  We both understand that there are circumstances that do drift us apart but we accept them and try make it work no matter how severe they may be.

I remember once in primary school, we disagreed about something and decide to have a 'physical' fight.  That turned out to be a very bad idea as we both were bruised and resorted in sorted issues out verbally.  That turned out to be the wisest decision we ever made as there have been a number of misunderstandings in our lifetime. 

When she was expecting her baby and was in labour, i remember that insane drive i had with her on her way to hospital.  i spent a few hours with her, checking up if she's is doing alright but eventually had to go.  When she did have her baby i got the phonecall and was the happiest friend in the world.

An ocean of memories are left  behind us and we both know that wherever life takes us and throws at us we are still partners for life and that will never change.

OUR DIFFERENCES CREATE US

By Yolanda Mabanga

In order for a circle of friends to ever work out it takes a room full of different personalities.  Lol, yeah yeah yea i am forever repeating that line but imagine if everyone in the circle was quiet or all of them were loud, it just wouldnt make sense. It honestly boils down to the functioning and reasoning of our social dynamics.   It would never make sense to have the exact same preferences and behaviour and for this reason, some individuals need to be flamboyant and charismatic and the others sit and be entertained from all of this.

For instance with my close friend and I, we are different beings.  She is very loud while I am a quiet.  Yes this does work when we are together because she will have enough to say for the both of us but at other times, she can get to my very last nerve for having this trait, to the point where I choose to keep to myself.  I feel that this is perfectly heathly and normal for any form of relationship to function.

When i wake up in the morning, because she knows me so well and has been in my life for several years, she can tell when I am not in the mood to listen or entertain her.  It could be that or maybe im just not a morning person but either way, haha.  I completely appreciate her distance in our friendship as much as i appreciate her nosy nature.  It forms part of her complete package and to me that is priceless.

IT IS BECAUSE I CARE

By Yolanda Mabanga

There is a saying that states that sometimes you have to just be cruel to be kind.  I fully understand what it means although some of my friends dont.  There have been a number of times, even from my own parents, i witnessed that being harsh was the only means to portray their kindness and get across.  I have friends who have also told me things that are not pleasing to the ear but they need to be heard because they care.

Wow, I cannot even begin to share where this has come into play in my life.  Most of the time it would be because I am crazy about a guy only to be told that that guy is not good for me.  Ofcourse it is not something you would want to hear when everything is still going great but when it does eventually turn out to be a mistake that is when the horrible advice comes back into play.

I have definitely share harsh words of my own but it really is because i care.  Only close family and friends know when it sincerely comes from the heart. I know that life isn't full of roses and waking up to sunshine everyday which is why relationships arent going to be a bed of roses either.  It is only natural to withstand the rain just as much as you appreciate the sunshine.

ARE WE SET FOR LIFE?

By Yolanda Mabanga

I am a big fan of modelling. I hope to continue with it in the future and hope that my circle of friends from the modelling industry grow more into the business as well.  I have made some very beautiful friends, on the inside and out, and have loved sharing this experince with them.  Understanding that it might not work for everyone, including myself, I still wish to keep those friends in my life and grow with them over the years.

I want us to be able to sit with our children and share our modelling experiences with them along with the endless photos of memories that we have of our youth.  I absolutely loved the different themes, pageants, photoshoots and shows.  Every experience was magical in its own right and the friends I have made from them has been phenomenal.

I wouldnt know where to start and say thank you to my parents for introducing me into this field and how it has helped shape me along with my companions. It has been an awesome journey in the past and I do wish that we can continue with it even if its still just as a hobby. One can learn alot from it and definitely make and keeep long life friends from it.

HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO BE IN MY LIFE FOR?

By Yolanda Mabanga

There is nothing more hurtful than finding a friend that you click so well with but only to find that your friendship is only for a limited time.  It is not because it is the way you planned it but rather because life throws you different aspects of which draws you apart. I can say that i have run into a few good, genuine people.  People i believed would have a made a profound difference in my life.  I believe the same would have applied from their side.

It is sad to know that such people only have a certain time to show their love and friendship for you.  I find it so sad when that journey has to come to an end.  I acknowledge that there is a time and place for everything and there should be no need to force issues.  Nature does take its course and bring those people back into the picture again but it should not be forced if it doesnt, especially if life emphasizes the different directions it has for you.

All one can do is keep in touch, check up on the person from time and time and hope for the best for them as they would for you.

WHOSE BIRTHDAY IS IT??

By Yolanda Mabanga

Birthdays have to be the most amazing time to share with friends as you know that with every year, they are ready to do something crazy.  The occasions and situations i have run into are an absolute pleasure and defintiely starts dating back to when my friends and I turned 18.  The mere fact that we were licensed to drive paved way for a multitude of insane scenarios. Dating to random drives to the beach at unusual times of the morning to an amazing trip to London as a birthday gift.  Yes, I have very thoughtful friends.

The birthday parties i have been to have been out of this world, from pool parties to formal dinners and scary camp trips.  When a friends birthday party comes up, one needs to know that something out of the ordinary is going to explode.  One can never get tired of the retarded things a friend can do, especially when it is his/her birthday and you definitely cannot deny that you can share a story or two about what a friend did during their birthday party.

This ultimately brings me to my bottom line? Whose birthday is it and what is the plan?? Hahaha

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS....UHMMM

By Yolanda Mabanga

As long as the female species exist and are bombarded by what the world calls "emotions", the whole idea of having friends with benefits is just never going to work, especially if the person is a close friend.  Females were not designed to suppress or control their emotions, hence why we are so loud, emotional, gossiping beings.  There is only a certain timeframe for such relationships and are indeed like that of a ticking timebomb. 

What is even worse than having a friend with benefits is "hooking" your girlfriend up with your brother.  These love-social gestures have never worked and are still not to work for anyone attempting to pursue them in the future.  I have a friend who hooked up her brother with another friend of mine and whilst in the process i voiced out my opinion and told them that it will never work.  Being indenial beings they convinced themselves and I that it is definitely going to work out. A few weeks later, not months...weeks, they have already spread rumours, having middlemen and even spend days without talking to each other all because the friend doesnt want her in her brothers life anymore.

It is another story in the book of life of how friends that link on a more sexual personal level has failed.   It is not to say that starting out as friends and deciding to be in a relationship is not going to work, that part is fine.  People get happily married to thier lifelong friends and have never looked back.  I am talking about individuals who try keep the friendship going, keep it casual and suppress feelings and think that it will work out for the best.  That story has hardly worked out, only in the movies. If this ideology is wrong you are more than welcome to try it out and see how far it takes you, by all means.